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Reasons Why Couples Always Fight and How to Resolve It

A romantic relationship is not all about getting butterflies in the stomach. Over time, couples develop inevitable conflicts that may test their relationship. If you have a partner and both of you fight, don’t worry; it’s just normal, and it doesn’t exactly mean that you’re with the wrong person. 

But, normal doesn’t necessarily mean that it is right. Sometimes, the frequency and quality of fighting with your other half may not be healthy. It might take a toll on you and your partner’s emotional, mental, and physical health.

The Thriving Center of Psychology can help you preserve a healthy relationship with your partner. In this article, we will focus on the role of unmet needs—the reason why most couples always fight, and how it can be resolved. Read on as this may apply to your current situation. 

Reason #1: Lack of Attachment

Most humans have this particular need for a secure connection to the important people in their lives. It’s part of their nature as it was developed in the early stages of their life through their primary caregivers. This nature also applies to an intimate relationship. You or your partner may be looking for a secure connection that one of you has failed to give; that’s why it leads to conflict. 

Addressing this need may help resolve your problems. If you and your partner are attached, you’re more likely to have a healthy, long-lasting, satisfying relationship. What you can do to develop this attachment is to acknowledge your partner. Find ways to let them know that you see them. Avoid making them feel that they are alone or ignored.

Reason #2. Having a Hard Time to Accept

Part of entering a serious relationship is accepting your partner’s flaws and imperfections. No matter what they do and whatever decision they make, you still need to accept them as they are. If this will not be the case, chances are it will lead to a bigger conflict, or worse, the relationship might not work.

To resolve this, you need to let your partner know that you accept them for who they are. Make them feel that they are enough and that you embrace them even with the flaws they have. Listen to their needs and make them feel that it is valid and that you are there for them every step of the way.  

Reason #3. Lack of Autonomy

Experts have found that lack of autonomy and being overly controlled by someone is also one of the reasons why most couples fight. Humans in nature have this sense of control over what they do and want to author their own lives. If couples tend to control each other and one feels that they lack autonomy, they become unsatisfied in the relationship, leading to disagreement. 

When you are in a relationship, you need to encourage autonomy. You also need to accept that you can’t control everything. Give your partner a chance to do things how they want it and encourage them so that they can feel fulfilled. This simple freedom that your partner feels will make your relationship stronger. 


There’s no perfect relationship, and conflict is always a part of it. The best you can do to make your relationship last is to address your partner’s needs and be open with each other. Communication is key to having a long, healthy, and satisfying relationship. After all, a relationship is an investment. You will not always garner good results, but if the right person comes, you need to nurture and take care of it to grow. 

Get in touch with the Thriving Center of Psychology for couples therapy to keep your relationship moving in the right direction. Our relationship specialist can talk with you and your partner about the issues you’re facing, help you manage stress, and communicate with each other more productively. Our practice is based in Midtown and Soho, NYC, Los Angeles, CA, and Miami, FL. Book your appointment with us today!

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